The Loonies In The Bin
by efficacious humorosity
Summary: Set after The Bone That Blew. When Zack meets Alexandra in the loony bin, she changes his view of the world entirely. Zack has never been one to ignore logic or to understand emotions, much less love. But Alex changes everything. ZackxOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own anything. I really should be focusing on my other stories, like "The Sister in the Lab," but this popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. Don't worry, I'll keep updating TSTL. Anyways, please review. Takes place after "The Bone That Blew."**

Chapter 1

Zack Addy sat off at a secluded table, studying the most current case file that Hodgins had brought him last time he had visited. He was contemplating the fascinating case, trying to calculate about how far the winds of the storm would have carried the bones. "Hey, punkass," said a voice. Zack quickly glanced up to see a large man standing in front of him.

Fight or flight?

Flight.

Most definitely.

Zack usually tried to avoid the other people in the insane asylum, because he knew that most of them were genuinely insane. Many of them had murdered people for nothing more than mere emotions. There wasn't even a hint of logic behind it. He packed up the file and went to return to his room, but the large man stood in his way. "Excuse me," he muttered, trying to be polite.

"You stole my socks," the man accused.

Zack had no idea what he was talking about. Deciding quickly that this man was one of those emotional killers, he tried to reason with him. "I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I didn't steal your socks. I've owned these for as long as I can remember."

Growling, the large man seized Zack by the collar of his jumpsuit and lifted him off the ground. As his hands were still healing, he was unable to fight back.

"Hey," said a voice suddenly. "Put him down, jackass."

A woman about Zack's height was walking toward them, her hands on her hips. She had long black hair, with her bangs just starting to cover her crystal blue eyes. Zack didn't have much experience with women, but he had enough to understand that his was physically attracted to her. _Nothing more than a release of natural hormones upon seeing a woman who appears to be a good potential mate_, he told himself. "He stole my socks!" the man cried, glaring at her.

"Norman, you accuse someone different every week of stealing your socks," she told him, rolling her eyes. "Get lost."

"Socks!"

Sighing, the woman bent down and took off her shoes, followed by her socks. "You want these?" she asked, dangling them in front of the man. His eyes became large and he nodded weakly. "Set him down and… go fetch!" She tossed the socks to the other side of the cafeteria.

He dropped Zack to the floor and chased after them. The woman put her shoes back on, sockless. "Thank you," Zack said, looking up at her as he began to stand up again. "With his height and weight compared to my height and weight, if I had been forced to fight back, the consequences would have been catastrophic to my health."

"No problem," she said, smiling. "Hi, by the way. I'm Alexandra. Call me Alex." She offered him her hand to shake.

Simply staring at her hand, he said, "I'm Zachary. Call me Zack."

"You're supposed to shake it, you know," she chuckled, referring to her hand.

He held up his hands, which were still covered by the mittens while he recovered. "Shaking hands with someone of your strength, which I have mentally calculated by observing your visible muscle mass, would most likely be detrimental to my recovery."

"Ah," she said, retracting her hand and folding her arms across her chest instead. "What happened?"

"I was performing an experiment, but I allowed the solution to heat for a few seconds too long," he said, trying to simplify his vocabulary for her. "The result was a rapid expansion of gas and a combustion reaction."

"So," Alex said, "it exploded and you burned your hands."

"Yes," he replied, surprised by how much she understood him. "Quite badly."

"Well, that sucks," she sighed. Glancing around the cafeteria, she sat down in the chair across from the one he had been occupying a few minutes before. He sat down across from her. "I've seen you around here for a few months. You don't seem like you belong here."

"It is quite the tedious tale," he told her elusively.

"I see, you don't want to talk about it," she said knowingly. Shrugging, she said, "Just trying to make conversation."

"What are you in for?" he asked, using what he deemed to be a colloquial phrase.

Eyeing him curiously, she replied, "That's a little personal for someone I just met, Zack."

Shrugging, he echoed, "Just trying to make conversation." She reluctantly grinned and rolled her eyes. "Is it improper for me to query as to how long you have been here?"

"No, that's perfectly proper," she told him. "About two years. And you?"

"Only a few months," he replied. "Are you aware of how much time you are obligated to spend here?"

"No," she replied shortly. "I can leave whenever the state psychiatrist clears me. What about you?"

"About a year," he replied. Using a phrase he had once heard Hodgins use, he said, "Look, I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Her eyebrows nearly jumped off of her forehead. "I'm sorry, what?!"

"Alex," he said, "I will tell you what I did to get in here if you tell me. Your reason cannot possibly be worse." He had no idea why he was willing to share his deepest shame with someone he had just met ten minutes ago, but he supposed that it had something to do with the fact that she was the only person in the asylum who had spoken to him since he had arrived. And she had stood up for him.

"You'd be surprised," she muttered, more to herself than to anyone else. Sighing, she crossed her arms again and slumped down in her chair. "Fine."

He launched into his story, beginning with his working at the Jeffersonian. As he finished, he said, "But my logic was flawed. I was willing to risk my own life to save Hodgins, so why would I be willing to murder other people? Not only was what I did morally wrong, but it made no sense. I should have known better than to be so irrational."

"Wow," she whistled, leaning back in her chair when he was done. "That's the shit."

"'That's the shit'?" he echoed. "Is that a colloquialism?"

"Yes," she nodded, smiling at him. "I supposed I should tell you what I did to get in here."

"That was your end of the bargain."

"My father had Duchenne's muscular dystrophy," she replied.

"Yes, an absence of a certain muscle protein-"

"I know what it is, Zack," she interrupted. "Anyway, he was getting worse. And he committed suicide. About a month later, I tried to commit suicide."

He was speechless for a few moments, staring at her unblinkingly. Finally, he stammered out, "That does not make logical sense."

Looking at him intently, she asked, "I know, Zack. But haven't you ever been so overwhelmed by your emotions that you couldn't reason anything out?"

"No," he replied simply. "I never saw the logical behind allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment."

"I thought not," she said.

"Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Because my best friends figured out what I was doing," Alex told him. "I was hysterical and inconsolable when they stopped me. They had me committed. I was really pissed off at first, but now I realize that they did it because they love me, and they care about me. They visit me a lot, too."

"I, too, was committed because people love me," Zack allowed himself to admit. "All of them, it would seem. Angela, Hodgins, Dr. Saroyan, Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth…"

"It sounds like they did," she said softly. After a few moments of comfortable silence between the two of them, she brightened and suggested, "Hey, let's go play Egyptian ratscrew in my room."

"Okay," he said, standing. "But I must warn you, I'm not entirely how sure adept I am at sexual intercourse with other species."

"Not what that is, Zack."

TLTBTLTBTLTB

Over the next two months, Zack and Alex became close friends. They spent most of their time together, and every night, Alex would sneak into Zack's room to sleep on the floor. The first night, Zack had assumed that she wanted to sleep with him, but she quickly cleared up the confusion. "I'm only here to sleep on your floor, Zack," she told him firmly. "Nothing else."

One night, he asked her, "Why do you really sneak into my room at night?"

"What?" she asked groggily. She had been drifting off into sleep when his voice had jerked her back to awareness.

"Why do you really sneak into my room at night?" he repeated, rolling onto his side so that he could glance down at her. He had hoped that after initial meeting, his physical reaction to her would disappear, but it was stronger than ever. His hormones were certainly raging. And he felt the inexplicable emotional and physical drive to protect her from any harm that may come her way. He found himself wishing whatever was best for her when he was trying to fall asleep at night.

"I told you, I just get bored on my own," she said, staring up at the ceiling.

"You're lying to me," he said simply. "I've been working on reading minute details of body language, and I've noticed how you avoid eye contact with me whenever you say that. So what is the truth, Alex?"

He heard her sigh and turn on her side so that she was facing away from him. "The silence," she muttered softly. "It drives me utterly insane."

"How so?" he queried. "Silence is merely the absence of noise. And you don't seem to mind when silence fills in the gaps in our conversations."

"No, no," she said. "It's only when I'm alone and it's silent. It… makes me remember why I wanted to kill myself all over again."

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to imagine Alex shooting herself, slitting her wrists… "I just see my dad over and over again," she told him. "I see his lifeless body lying on the bathroom floor, long cuts down his arms. When it's silent and I'm alone, I can convince myself that life's not worth living."

"And how does my presence aid in avoiding such thoughts?" he asked.

"I don't honestly know," she told him. "For some reason, around you, I feel safe. Not only from other people, but from myself."

"But… why?" he said. "I am no warrior or soldier, like Booth was. How do you expect me to protect you?"

"I don't really know," she admitted. "But… you're the best thing that's happened to me ever since I was committed. I can just imagine you talking me out of committing suicide using your 'logic.'" She chuckled dryly in the darkness.

"I would," he assured her. "It does not make logical sense for you to kill yourself. What good would that do?"

"I know that it's illogical, Zack," she told him, rolling her eyes despite the fact that he couldn't see her. "But… most people tend to abandon logic when they become overwhelmed with emotion."

"That leads to rash decisions," he stated.

"True," she replied, rolling onto her other side so that she was facing his direction again. "But, on the other hand, sometimes you need to. I think you abandon emotion most of the time because you prefer logic. It's your comfort zone."

"Are you insinuating that I do not have emotions?" he asked, feeling the sting of her perceived comment. "Because that is most certainly false."

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you prefer not to dwell on your emotions, and you usually do not understand how to cope with them," she corrected him.

"That would be accurate," he sighed. "I just have trouble ignoring logic."

"Maybe I can help you there, eh?" she said. "As long as you help me ignore my emotions when I need to."

"I accept your proposition," he yawned.

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted."

"Good night, Zack."

"Good night, Alex."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I still own nothing. Please read and review! **

Chapter 2

"Was that stack of cards not mine?"

Zack looked questioningly at Alex across the table as she organized the stack of cards she had gained into her original pile. "No," she replied, grinning. "Those were definitely mine."

"But I laid down a Jack," he argued. "And you laid down a seven. Those cards were mine."

"No, Zack," she said patiently. "I put down a seven before you put down the Jack, and then I put another seven on top, making it a sandwich. _And_ I slapped the deck before you took the cards. So they're mine."

Zack grimaced. He was no good at slapping the deck; he had a stunning lack of hand-eye coordination. He also found it to be a very violent game, and he did not relish the thought of possibly harming Alex if he slapped her hand by accident. "I am terrible at this game," he murmured, laying down a five.

Alex laid down a five on top of it and slapped the deck. Zack moved as if to slap the deck himself, but he hesitated, resulting in her victory. Looking at him curiously, she asked, "Zack… are you afraid to slap the deck?"

"No, of course not," he said quickly.

Too quickly.

"You're a shitty liar, Zack," she told him, smiling again. "You are afraid. But why? I won't hurt you. I promise."

"That's not what I'm worried about," he told her. "I am more than capable of taking a few slaps to win the game."

"Then why don't you ever slap the deck?" she asked. "You were about to on that one, and you could've been me to it; you _would've_ beat me to it. But you stopped. Why?"

"It is a scientifically proven fact that men are more prone to be stronger physically than women," he said simply.

"Oh," she said, realizing dawning upon her face as her blue eyes grew wide. "You're not afraid of getting slapped. You're afraid of slapping me."

"No, I'm not!" he cried defensively.

"Yes, yes you are," she said. Laying her hand palm down on the table, she said, "Then prove it. Slap me."

He brought his hand up to as if he was going to, glaring at her all the while. He brought his hand down quickly, but before he hit her, he moved it to the side. "I won't," he said.

"If you are not afraid to slap me, then it's _illogical_ for you to refuse to when I'm encouraging you to," she teased, her blue eyes sparkling.

He groaned to himself as he realized that she had used logic against him. "Just keep playing the game."

Grinning crookedly, she laid down another card and said, "That's what I thought."

TLTBTLTB

"Alex, can I ask you a personal question?"

Zack looked at Alex curiously across the table during lunch. She was in the process of forking a piece of chicken into her mouth, but she paused in mid-air to chuckle. "What kind of question is that, Zack?" she asked. "I've spent pretty much every minute of the last three months with you. Of course you can."

He breathed a sigh of relief; he needed more information on a certain subject, and he was terrified that she would refuse. "Only if I can ask you a personal question in return."

"That sounds fair," he replied reasonably. Inhaling sharply, he asked, "What did it feel like to be depressed and suicidal?"

Her face, which had been wearing a jovial expression moments before, quickly became expressionless. "I'm not sure what you're asking."

"Why did you want to commit suicide?" he asked. "I know about your father, but… I'm asking what your emotions were, I suppose."

She sucked in a long, deep breath before she replied. She bowed her head and said, "It felt like I was drowning in everything that was happening to me. After the normal grieving period, I had no day-to-day reason to feel depressed, but yet… I couldn't bring myself to be happy. My grades were slipping and I started talking to my friends less and less. I didn't like where my life was going, but I felt like I didn't have any control over it. And I hated that feeling more than anything else." Looking up to meet his eyes, she continued, "In fact, I hated that feeling so much that I started doing something that made me feel like I had control over something." Slowly, she rolled up her sleeves. He had noticed that she always wore long-sleeved shirts or a jacket with long-sleeves, no matter what the temperature in the asylum was. As she exposed the pale skin of her arms to him, he saw the faint scars running across her arms.

"There is no possible way that those scars could have been caused by some accident," he said, fingering one gently before quickly retracting his finger. "Either you did this to yourself or someone did this to you on purpose."

"The former," she said softly. "It let me feel like I had control over _something_, even if it was destructive. And… after feeling so much emotional pain, I forced myself to become numb. But I found that being numb only terrified me far more than pain did. But I couldn't make myself _feel_ again."

"So you sought physical pain," he finished for her.

She nodded. "My best friends were, and still are, guys. They're great guys, all of them, but they're not the type to tell me how much they care every day. So it was fairly easy for me to convince myself that I didn't matter to them. And I decided that life was more of a con than it was a pro."

"How did they… how did they stop you?" he queried, surprised by how horrifying he found the thought of Alex's death to be.

"They figured it out," she shrugged. "Actually, Kevin did, but Andrew and Seth came with him to stop me. They had noticed my odd behavior over the past few months and my refusal to wear anything but long sleeves. I had a baseball jersey that I loved… my father gave it to me that last time we went to Fenway Park together to watch the Red Sox play. And I gave it to Kevin, telling him that he would get more use out of it than I would. He was confused at first, because he was a Braves fan. But eventually, he put together two and two. He realized why I always wore long sleeves, why I was so quiet and withdrawn, and why I was giving him my jersey. He called Andrew and Sepp and they rushed over. They got there just in time to stop me. I had just swallowed the pills. They called 911 and rushed me to the hospital. They were able to save me."

After a few moments of silence between them, he told her softly, "I'm glad."

"What?"

"I'm glad… that they saved you," he told her. "I'm really glad, actually."

She smiled softly at him. "So," she said, "it's my turn to ask you a personal question."

"Ask away."

"Did you kill him?" she asked. He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off quickly. "Look, before you answer, you should know that I want you to be completely and totally honest with me. It won't change our relationship at all, no matter what the answer is, Zack. We will still be friends, even if you did kill him. Okay?"

"Okay," he said, nodding. "No. I did not physically kill him. But I gave Gormigon the information that led directly to his murder, and I would have killed him, at that point in time, if I had been ordered to. So I might as well have."

"No, Zack," she told him. "No. All that's not important. You may have done it yourself back then, but the important thing is that you didn't and that you wouldn't do it now."

"Right," he affirmed, nodding his head. He had the strange urge to make sure that she knew that he was not a murderer. For some reason, Alex viewing him as a murderer was worse than anything the justice system could possibly do to him. He began to realize that he had a very strong emotional and physical attachment to her. He was still physically attracted to her, and he began to depend on her to make his day. He spent every moment of everyday with her, and his emotions fed off of hers. He only wanted what was best for her, and he found that she made him want to be a better person. If he were still in the clutches of Gormigon, her request alone could save him. "Tell me about Kevin, Andrew, and Seth."

"All right," she said slowly. "Kevin is blonde and he's a pitcher in baseball. He loves the Braves. He loves roller coasters. He can make mean jokes sometimes, but he really means well. Andy… Andy is tall and has brown hair. He's extremely smart, and he's a really good listener. He also plays baseball and basketball. Seth… well, there's no other words for it, he's a computer geek. He is the master of all things electronic. He's tall and has brown hair, like Andy, only taller. And he's really sweet. He's great at listening and giving advice. When all four of us are together… it's crazy. We just have a good time. But when one of us needs anything, the others all come through."

"That sounds like an ideal symbiotic relationship for all three of you," he commented, glad that she had such good friends.

"Tell me about your friends," she said. "Tell me about Dr. Brennan, Booth, Angela, Cam, and Hodgins."

"Okay," he said. "Dr. Brennan is a very gifted forensic anthropologist. She was my teacher until I earned my doctorate and got my own job at the Jeffersonian. Her partner is Special Agent Booth, who's with the FBI. He's a very stereotypical Alpha male, and he bases his conclusions on conjecture rather than fact. However, it seems to work for him. He and Dr. Brennan work well together, and Angela is constantly making comments about something called 'UST' that I don't understand-"

"Unresolved sexual tension," she told him, grinning. "Sounds like Angela thinks that Dr. Brennan and Booth need to jump each other."

"I don't know what that means," he said, blinking at her.

"It means they are attracted to each other and need to have sexual intercourse," she explained to him.

"Oh," he said. "I see. Continuing, Cam was made the Head of Forensics about two years ago, and she's a very direct but gently kind of person. Angela is an artist, and she relies heavily on her emotions. She was dating Hodgins, who analyzed bugs and slime and other particulates, but he told me a few months ago that they broke up." Looking up at her with round eyes, he told her, "He really loves her."

"That's terrible," she said. "That's just plain terrible."

"What is love?" Zack asked abruptly a few moments later.

"Oh, jeez," she said. "I'm not really sure how to explain this, Zack. I'm thinking this is another conversation for another day, eh?"

"Okay," he nodded, continuing to eat. Zack was not a believer in love, or in emotional relationships, really, but he was beginning to question what kind of attachment he had to Alex. Once one of them was released from the asylum, what were the chances that they would see each other again? Of course, they could keep in touch. He certainly would. But what if talking him to brought back bad memories for her? He wouldn't want to do that. He only wanted Alex to be happy. But what if she was in trouble? She had been in the asylum for a while; what if she needed help finding a home and a job once she was released? Of course he would help her. But would she want his help?

And the most prominent question on his mind was whether or not her attachment to him was as strong as his attachment to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Don't own, don't sue. Please review! **

Chapter 3

"Ha! Mine!"

Alex smiled triumphantly as she slapped the deck of cards and took them for herself, much to the disappointment of the three men sitting in a circle with her. "You've gotten much better at slapping the deck lately, Alex," Andy said suspiciously. "Does it have anything to do with this Zack character we've heard so much about?"

"Yes, it does, and it's your turn," she told him.

"When do we get to meet this kid?" Kevin asked, putting down a two.

"I don't know, and he's not a kid, Kev," she said. "He's a year younger than me."

"Alex, to be honest, none of us are that fond of the idea of you dating someone you met in the loony bin," Seth told her, the corners of his mouth turning downward.

"Guys, he's not a loony," she said, rolling her eyes and setting down her cards. "I'm tired of playing." She gathered up the cards and began reorganizing them into the deck.

"He's in here because he was the apprentice of a cannibalistic serial killer," Andy said, looking scandalized. "Of course he's a loony!"

"Well, then I'm a goddamn loony too. If you remember correctly, I tried to kill myself," she said, setting the deck down angrily.

"Yeah," Seth said quietly. "We remember."

"Even though we wish we didn't," Kevin muttered.

"He's changed, okay?" Alex said. "So please- stop deprecating my only friend in here."

"Okay, fine," Andy said. "We're sorry."

"Yeah, we're sorry," Kevin echoed.

"Me three," Seth threw in, looking a little lost. "I know _I'd_ feel a lot better about this if we got to meet him."

"You will," she assured Seth. "Eventually. He's not very good at socializing, and I don't want to put him on the spot today. Maybe next time you guys visit."

"Yeah, that'll be next week," Andy said. "You know we always visit you every week, Alex. We've never missed one."

"Yeah, I know," she said softly. "Thanks."

"You're our best friend," Kevin said, shrugging. "What else were we going to do?" Suddenly, he brightened and his eyes widened. "Hey, you remember that skiing trip we all took over Christmas break during our sophomore year of high school?"

"Hell, yeah, I remember!" she cried. "That trip was the _shit_!"

"Well, I found the pictures we took in an old folder on my Mac, so we made an album for you," he said, handing over a thick book.

Smiling, she opened it and began looking at all the pictures. Laughing at a picture of Andy giving her a piggy back ride, she said, "I remember that! We raced down the slope, and whoever lost had to give the winner a piggy back ride. Andy lost, so I got on his back, and then he ran me into the front door of the hotel!" Looking up, she said, "Thanks, guys."

"No problem," Seth told her, shrugging. "We figured you needed something to pass the time in here."

"Yeah," Andy said. "And something to remind you of us."

"Don't worry," she said, reaching out to place a friendly hand on his shoulder. "I won't forget about you. Or any of you guys."

A smile played on Kevin's lips. "'Don't you… forget about me….'"

TLTBTLTB

"So do I ever get to meet this Alex girl you keep talking about?"

Hodgins looked knowingly at Zack over the table, smiling. "Not right now," Zack replied. "She's being visited." Pointing his finger across the room at Alex, he said, "That's her right over there."

Following Zack's finger, Hodgins looked back and seemed to be sizing Alex up. "_That's_ Alex?" he asked incredulously. "Damn, man. She's hot."

"She does have symmetrical features and other indicators that she would be a good mate," Zack replied.

"Can't you be normal for a few minutes, man?" Hodgins asked. "Especially when it has to do with women." Pausing for a moment to glance back at where Alex was seating with the three men, he asked, "Why is she surrounded by three guys? Is one of them her boyfriend?"

"No," Zack said.

"Are you sure, man?" Hodgins asked. "She seems to be pretty close to the one sitting on her right, with the brown hair."

"That must be Andy," Zack muttered, more to himself than to Hodgins. "I'm sure, Hodgins. She's told me about those three men. They're her best friends, and she's close with all of them. I'm fairly certain that the one on her right is Andy, the blonde across from her must be Kevin, and the other brunette is probably Seth."

"If you say so, man," he shrugged.

"I think she might be attracted to me," Zack muttered.

"Let me be the judge of that, my friend," he told him, smiling. "So you two are pretty good friends, huh?"

"We spend almost every moment of every day together," he replied. "For the past several months or so. Since August."

"Damn man," Hodgins said. "You've been in here for almost a year. You're so close to getting out. Just behave, okay?"

"I haven't been doing anything that would give them reason to detain me for any further periods of time," Zack said. "Dr. Sweets will just have to clear me in about a month in order for me to return to work at the Jeffersonian. But I'll be on probation. I won't be allowed to touch remains or alter evidence. For at least six months."

"Yeah, I know," he said. Nodding in his general direction, he said, "Your hands have healed quite nicely."

"Yes, they have," he nodded. "Alex was happy when they were fully healed, because that meant I could play Egyptian ratscrew with her."

"Aw, man, I sucked at that card game," Hodgins groaned. "I always thought too hard about whether it was a slap or not that I always missed the slaps."

"Alex loves that game," Zack informed him. "She is extremely adept at quickly determining whether the sequence of the cards results in a sandwich or a double."

"Dude, you are _so_ smitten," he grinned.

"I don't know what that means."

"It means that you're in love with her," Hodgins told him, rolling his eyes. "Dude, you are so clueless."

"Love is not a quantifiable emotion," Zack said. "It is meaningless to me."

"Whether you recognize it or not, you're still in love with her," he told him, leaning forward on the table. "I know you, Zack. And you don't ever talk about anyone like this, much less a girl you met in the loony bin. Face it, _Uriah_. _You. Love. Her._"

Zack said nothing; he only glared at Hodgins. Finally, he said, "It looks like she's done visiting her friends. Would you like to meet her?"

"Hell, yeah!" Hodgins said.

Zack half-stood from his seat and waved her over, allowing a small smile to spread across his face. "Hey, Zack," she said, sitting down next to him. Seeing Hodgins, she extended her hand for him to shake. "Hi, I'm Alexandra, but call me Alex."

Hodgins accepted her hand and shook it before releasing it. "I'm Dr. Jack Hodgins, but you can call me anything you want, babe."

Zack glared at him, but Alex chuckled. "How about I just stick to Hodgins? That's what Zack always calls you when he talks about you, anyway."

"Ah, so Zack talks about me, huh?" Hodgins said, his eyes twinkling jovially at his best friend from across the table. "All good, I hope?"

"Yeah, mostly," Alex said, shrugging. "A lot about bugs and slime and conspiracy theories, though."

"So I hear you like Egyptian ratscrew," Hodgins said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, in fact, I just got through several games with my friends," she said, playing with the deck of cards absentmindedly. "All of which, I won."

"Eh, I was never good at that game," he told her. "I always thought too hard about it."

"It's all about not thinking though, man," Alex told him, chuckling. "The point is to train your reflexes to be so fast that your brain doesn't even register them until after you've slapped the deck."

"Point taken," Hodgins said. "Hey, I know this is really random, but perhaps you can offer me some insight into the female psyche."

"Girl advice?" she said. "Sure, shoot."

"Okay, so several months ago, I broke up with my fiancée-" he said.

"Angela," Alex nodded. At Hodgins' stunned look, she shrugged and said, "Zack told me."

"Right," he said. Continuing, he said hopefully, "I was sort of hoping you could give me advice about this whole thing."  
"Let me get my facts straight," Alex said. "You still love her, but she's dating a woman?" Hodgins nodded, and, at his questioning look, she simply said, "Zack told me."

"So? What d'you got for me, loony girl?"

Zack glared at Hodgins when he called her loony girl, but Alex laughed. "I like that, thanks," she said. "Hmmm… okay. Well, it seems to me that the two of you had a pretty strong, intense emotion and physical relationship. And the reason you broke up was because…?"

"Long story short, she felt like we didn't really trust each other any more," he replied.

"So start building that trust up again," Alex advised him. "Start rebuilding your friendship and _make sure_ that the trust is there and stronger than ever. And then just wait for her lesbian relationship to be over with. It doesn't sound like it's very stable anyway."

"Let me guess," Hodgins said. "Zack told you." He smiled at Zack across the table and winked, saying, "Zack has loose lips when it comes to you.

"I do not!" Zack cried abruptly, even though he had been quiet during the whole of their conversation.

"Man, she knows more about me than anyone should about someone they've never met before," Hodgins told him. "Loose lips."

Zack merely folded his arms across his chest and glared at that.

TLTBTLTB

"What are you going to do when you get out of here?"

Alex sat up from her position lying on the floor and looked at Zack curiously, awaiting his reply. "I'll return to the Jeffersonian, if Dr. Sweets clears me to do so. However, I'll be on probation. Meaning I won't be allowed to touch anything, basically. I'll only be an intellectual tool. I don't know where I'll be living, though. You?"

"Seth is freaking rich, since he's suck a computer freak," she replied. "He's already bought me an apartment in the same building as the one he shares with Kevin and Andy. As for a job, I have no freaking idea. I was working temporarily at Seth's company when I tried to commit suicide, just until I could find a real job of my own. But I never did get a chance to."

"It sounds like Seth provides for you a lot," Zack commented. Quickly, he added, "And I don't mean that to be a bad thing; I was just merely stating an observation of mine."

"Yeah, he does," she said, sighing a bit. "He's a really good friend that way." Lying back down, she huffed, "I can't wait to get the hell out of this joint."

"I concur," he agreed, lying down on his bed. "I hate the feeling of isolation, and I miss my work as a forensic anthropologist."

"You sound like you're pretty amazing at it," she yawned. "You speak like a dictionary."

He allowed a small smile to spread across his face. "Frankly, I'm surprised you understand me half the time."

"I'm smart too, Zack," she informed him, chuckling. "I use big words, too."

"I wasn't trying to insult your intelligence."

"I know, Zack," she said. "I was just joking."

"Oh."

"I have my psychiatric evaluation tomorrow," she told him. "The state psychiatrist will have to clear me for release. Wish me luck?"

"I don't believe in luck. It's irrational."

"Right. Wish me… logic?"

"Okay," he agreed, smiling again. "Good logic, Alex."

"Thanks, Zack," she said sleepily. "Good night, Zack."

"Good night, Alex."

When she thought he was asleep, she whispered, "I love you, Zack." Then she turned onto her side and drifted off into sleep.

Those four words kept Zack up all night.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I **_**wish**_** I owned Bones… then Booth and Bones would just jump each other, like they need to. And Alex would be an actual character on the show. Anyway, please review! **

Chapter 4

Zack didn't realize how much entertainment Alex truly provided until she was gone the whole morning the following day. When she wasn't at breakfast, he wondered where she was at first, before remembering that she had her psychiatric evaluation. Thus, he had been forced to eat breakfast alone, and lunch as well, when she wasn't back by noon. He was sitting in his room, reading a book Hodgins had given him about different types of bugs when she finally burst through the door, smiling broadly. "Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!" she said happily, barely able to contain her excitement.

He looked up from his book to gaze at her, clearly amused. "I'm sorry, I could not understand a single word that emerged from your mouth."

She grinned and inhaled a deep breath. "Guess what," she said, speaking normally.

"Logically, there is no way for me to guess correctly from the millions of trillions of possibilities," he said. "So you might as well just tell me."

"I'm getting out of here," she said, hugging him tightly. "The psychiatrist cleared me to be released!"

Zack felt the world freeze in its movement. "What?" Zack asked, dumbfounded for once in his life. "When?"

"Next week!" she said happily.

"No!" He wrenched himself out of his grasp and jumped up from the bed, pacing about the room. She looked shocked at his sudden outburst, but he ignored her expression. "No! That's not logical! That doesn't make sense!"

"Zack," she said softly, but he ignored her.

Turning to face her, he yelled, "We're friends! You should not be leaving me; that's not logical! You said you loved me!"

"You heard that?" she asked in a whisper, growing pale. "I thought you were asleep."

"I don't know what love is, but if you think you love me, you should not be leaving me in here by myself! You c-can't-"

He closed his mouth and reopened it to say more, but he was cut off by her mouth on his. He froze in his surprise as her arms wound their way around his neck. When he failed to respond to her, she released him and pulled away, blushing a furious red color for the first time Zack had ever seen. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

"That's not logical," he told her. "One should only be sorry if one does something to offend another."

"Oh," she said, brightening. "So… that's your way of saying you wanted me to kiss you?"

"Yes," he said simply. "Why did you kiss me?"

"It seemed to be the most logical way to get you to shut up, short of slapping you, that is," she told him. "So you know I love you." He nodded. Sucking in a sharp breath, she asked, "Do you love me, Zack?"

"I don't know," he admitted, swallowing his pride. "I do not understand this love of which you speak. I can't claim to have something for you if I do not understand it."

"I guess that's correct," she said, the disappointment evident in her voice. He felt inexplicably guilty. He had hurt her, even he could see that written all across her face. Why couldn't he just lie to her and say he loved her, if that would make her happy? That's all he wanted to do, make her happy. Suddenly, he knew how to make everything better.

"I don't know what love is," he told her, taking a step toward her slowly. "But I do know that I have a very strong emotional and physical attachment to you."

Her brows knitted together in confusion as she said, "Explain."

"I'm very physically attracted to you," he admitted. "My body releases hormones in response to your attributes that indicate that you would make a good mate."

"Thanks," she said, "I think."

"It is a compliment," he told her earnestly. "As for my emotional attachment to you, I have begun to rely on you to make my day. My mood seems to feed off of yours. I only want what is best for you, or whatever will make you happy." Sighing, he said, "But I don't see how that relates to the feeling of love."

"Zack," she chuckled, "love isn't a feeling."

"It isn't?" he queried. "But-" She silenced him by raising her hand.

"That's a common misconception, spread mostly by Hallmark," she informed him. "But love isn't a feeling. It is a choice."

"A choice?" he echoed. "What kind of choice?"

"The choice to wish the best for someone," she said quietly. "The choice to put their well-being before your own."

"That's illogical," he said, and she resisted the urge to slap him upside the head. "Survival instinct tells us to put our own well-being before anyone else's. Then why do I want you to be happy more than I want myself to be happy?"

She smiled at his admission and said, "Zack, there is no one person in the world who knows everything, correct?" At his nod, she continued, "So isn't it within the realm of logic to say that love is one of those things that you just don't understand, even though you love someone and it exists?"

"That… does make logical sense, actually," he admitted. "I… I don't know if I can say it yet, though, Alex."

"That's all right, Zack," she told him. "I know that you do."

"May I… have another chance to kiss you?" he asked. At her smile and nod, he took another step toward her and slowly lowered his head to her. He paused when her lips were about two centimeter away, unsure of how to proceed. Rolling her eyes, she closed the remaining gap between them and pressed her lips to his. He felt her arms lock around his neck as she backed him up into the wall. He was surprised to feel her tongue trace the seam of his lips, and he moaned aloud when she slipped her tongue inside his mouth. He allowed his tongue to gently stroke hers and explore the cavern of her mouth, slowly allowing his arms to wrap tightly around her waist, drawing her closer to him. It made no logical sense, as no two objects could occupy the same space, but he wanted her as close as possible, even if that meant occupying the same space.

One of her hands wandered from his neck to his cheek, cupping it as she pulled away slightly. He opened his mouth to protest her withdrawal, but she said, "Zack, I love you."

"I know," he said. "And I know you want me to say it back, and I will. Eventually."

"That's not what I was getting at," she told him, shaking her head. "I'm trying to tell you that I'm not going to leave you in here. I know what's best for you, and being left alone in here after having me with you all these months is certainly not good for you."

"But…" he said, "you're leaving. And I can't possibly ask you to stay here any longer. I know how much you hate this place."

"I know, Zack, I know you'd never ask me to do that, and I know you'd be angry with yourself if you thought you were the reason I stayed," she said. "So I'm not staying."

"Then how are you not leaving me?" he asked.

"The apartment Seth bought for me is only about fifteen minutes away from here; I'll be here everyday to visit you, I promise," she said.

"You would come back," he said slowly, "every single day, for about three weeks, just to see me?"

"Yes," she replied simply.

Unsure of what else to do, he hugged her to him tightly, one of his hands gently stroking her long black hair. "What did I do to deserve you," he murmured. "I was the apprentice of a cannibalistic serial killer; I don't deserve you as a friend, much less as a- what are we exactly?"

"Why don't you tell me, Dr. Zack?" she teased, grinning up at him.

"I was hoping you could tell me," he said, looking sheepish. "I… I have no clue about all of these things."

"Would you like to be my boyfriend, Zack?" she asked, still grinning.

"Yes, I would like that very much," he replied earnestly. She smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I love you, Zack. I'm never going to leave you."

"I know. I wish I could tell you the same thing, but I still don't understand love and I do not like to make promises that cannot scientifically proven."

"I know, Zack. And that's good enough for me."

She didn't say it, so Zack set himself an ultimatum. It might be good enough for her in her eyes, but he believed she deserved better.

He _would_ tell her loved her, and he_ would_ mean it.

And he would _never_ leave her.

TLTBTLTB

Eight days later, Zack was extremely nervous. It was almost noon, and Alex had yet to show up to visit him. It was first day out of the asylum, and he was anxiously awaiting her visit. Finally, during lunch, one of the guards approached and said, "Mr. Addy? There's an Alexandra Simmons here to see you."

"_Doctor_ Addy," he said, even though the guard wasn't listening to him as he followed him into the large visitation room. "It's _Doctor_ Addy."

He saw Alex standing in the room, waiting for him. He was somewhat shocked to see her in normal clothes; he had only ever seen her in the uniform the asylum provided. She was wearing jeans and sneakers and a red-long sleeved shirt that clung to her curves and chest. He gulped. "Hi, Alex."

"Hey, Zack," she said, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek. The guard quickly left the room and stood outside the door. "How are you?"

"it has only been a day since you've seen me," he said. "I know it was irrational, because I trust you when you promise me something, but I was nervous that you would not come back."

"Of course I came back, Zack," she said. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you."

"I know," he said. "How's the outside world?"

"Better than in here," she replied with a shrug. Smiling, she added, "But it'll be even better once you get out."

"Have you started searching for a job?" he asked.

"No, not yet, Zack," she told him. "I've only been out for a day. Seth, Andy, and Kevin took me out to celebrate last night."

"What did you guys do?" Zack asked, taking her hand in his tentatively and stroking the skin of her hand with his thumb.

"We went out for drinks, and to a movie," she replied.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, he commented, "I didn't know your last name was Simmons."

"I didn't know your last name was Addy," she countered, grinning. "I guess, in here, you were just Zack to me. You didn't need a last name, because you were the only person I ever really spoke to. You were just… Zack. Not Dr. Addy, not Zachary Addy, just… Zack."

"Is there anything else I should know about you?" he asked.

"I have a second degree black belt in karate, my middle name is Lydia, I completed med school before I got committed, and I enjoy singing and writing," she told him, squeezing his hand. "And you?"

"I am deceptively strong, my middle name is Uriah, and I, too, can sing," he told her. She leaned in to kiss him on the lips, her mouth lingering on his before she pulled away, chuckling slightly. "What?" he demanded, looking offended. "What is so amusing to you?"

"I'm sorry," she said, bending over and gasping for breath, her blue eyes jovial. "I truly am, I should not be laughing. But Uriah?"

He smiled and allowed himself to laugh with her for a bit before kissing her on the forehead.

And he felt as though everything was right in the world.

He knew that wasn't logical, but he decided to just go with his gut, as Booth would, on this one.

Everything was going to be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I own nothing. Please leave a review! **

Chapter 5

"The shape of the pelvic bone indicates that the subject is female…"

Bones was bent over the table, carefully examining a set of remains, with Cam supervising. Booth, Angela, and Hodgins were also watching. She was interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared. "Excuse me," said a voice. Everyone whirled around to face the speaker, a young woman with long black hair and blue eyes. "I'm Alexandra Simmons."

"Alex!" cried Hodgins. "Good to see you again."

"It's good to see you again, too, Hodgins," she replied, smiling. "Um… I'm Zack's…"

"Girlfriend," Hodgins put in for her. "She's Zack's girlfriend."

Everyone seemed to freeze. "Wait," said Booth. "Wait just a damn minute. Zack has a girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Hodgins said proudly. "He met her in the loony bin."

"Oh, God," Angela said, "well, that figures."

"I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Alex deadpanned, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a smile.

Bones peeled off her gloves and stepped off the forensic platform. Shaking Alex's hand, she said, "It's nice to meet you, Alexandra. I'm Dr. Brennan."

"Oh, Zack's mentioned you a lot," she replied. "I'm pleased to meet you too, but please call me Alex."

"This is my partner, Special Agent Seeley Booth, that's Dr. Cam Saroyan, the head of forensics, and that is Angela Montenegro, who is in charge of facial reconstructions. And it appears that you have already met Dr. Hodgins."

"Yeah, we met when he visited Zack once," she said.

"How does Zack end up in the loony bin and come out with a girlfriend?" Booth wanted to know. "You know, I think I've just earned a whole new level of respect for the kid- that must take talent."

"Yeah, how exactly did that happen?" Angela asked, looking fascinated.

"What is this, Zackaroni's first girlfriend?" Cam interjected.

"No, there was Naomi from Paleontology," Hodgins informed her, at which Cam's eyebrows jumped off of her head.

"I'm sure Alex isn't here to tell us about her sexual relationship with Zack," Bones said.

"Sexual?" Alex echoed, raising her eyebrows. "Oh, no, no, no, we've barely just started dating. We are _far_ from that."

"Can we _please_ not put the images of a naked Zack in my head?" Booth pleaded, shielding his eyes with his hand. "I am scarred for life."

"But anyway, Dr. Brennan is right," Alex said. "I'm here because Zack has his psychiatric evaluation with Sweets tomorrow, which will determine whether or not he is released and put on probation here at the Jeffersonian."

"That's right," Cam said, realization dawning on her face. "It's been a year."

"And I'm thinking there's a pretty good chance that he'll be cleared," Alex said.  
"Based on what evidence?" Bones asked.

Booth rolled his eyes and explained, "Sorry, Alex. She's just like that."

"No worries," she said, "Zack is, too. Based on the fact that he promised me he would admit that he did not physically kill the lobbyist and explain how his logic was flawed _and_ mention to Sweets that he has developed a romantic relationship which will help him integrate further into the social world."

"Wait," Booth said, "Zack admitted to killing the lobbyist; he said he stabbed him in the heart."

"He didn't," Alex told him, shrugging. "I know he admitted to it, but he really didn't. He just said that because he gave Gormigon the information that led directly to his death; he considers that just as good as physically committing the murder himself."

"Had he told us that," Cam said slowly, "he might've gotten a lighter punishment."

"What's done is done," Booth told her.

"So Zack is mostly likely going to be cleared," Angela said, trying to get the conversation back on its original path. "Why does that bring you here?"

"I thought he would like to have dinner with you all tomorrow night," she said, her face brightening. "He mentioned a Chinese restaurant called Wong Foo's that I thought would be a good place to meet."

"That sounds great," Cam said, smiling. "I'll come."

"I'll be there," threw in Hodgins.

"I would love to attend such a dinner," Bones replied.

"I'm with Bones," Booth said.

"Of course I'll be there," Angela said. "I wouldn't want to miss our Zack coming out of the loony bin."

"Also, my friends Kevin, Seth, and Andy would like to come as well," Alex told them. "They've been wanting to meet Zack for quite some time now."

"Sure, I don't see a problem with that," Hodgins told her. "I got the impression that Zack wanted to meet your friends too."

"Cool," Alex said, grinning and nodding her head. "So… tomorrow night, Wong Foo's at seven o'clock sharp. I'll get there with Zack around half past seven."

TLTBTLTB

"Are you nervous?"

"Logically, I have no reason to be nervous, since you seem so certain that I'm going to be cleared by Dr. Sweets," Zack replied. However, the look in his brown eyes betrayed his true emotions.

"That's not what I asked you, Zack," she replied, rolling her eyes and moving to the other side of the table so that she was sitting next to him instead of across from him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I don't care whether or not it makes sense for you to be nervous; are you nervous or not?"

"Yes," he replied softly, as if he were ashamed of admitting that he wasn't being completely logical. "I am nervous. If Dr. Sweets doesn't clear me tomorrow, it will mostly likely be another six months to a year before I have another chance for a psychiatric evaluation. And… I really want to be released from here."

"Why?" Alex asked, raising her head to look at him curiously. "You didn't seem to mind it too much before. You seemed to think… that you deserved to be in here."

"I did think that, and I still do," he said, blushing and ducking his head. "But now… my desire to be with you overwhelms my guilt. This asylum was tolerable as long as you were here with me. Now that you've been released… I just want to be with you."

"Zack, that is probably the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," she told him, grinning and punching him playfully in the arm.

"You know, among males, half-hearted fighting is often a form of play," he informed her.

"Stop analyzing every single thing I do, Zack," she told him with a sigh. "I'm not a culture for you to immerse yourself in or anything. Can't you just trust your heart on this one?"

"I'm not sure what my heart is trying to say," he told her, blinking his large brown eyes at her.

"Don't think about it so much," she said. "Just go with it."

Smiling faintly, he leaned in toward her, brushing his lips against hers. Gently, she cupped the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, slowly slipping her tongue inside his mouth. He moaned and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her small hands cautiously slipped beneath his uniform shirt and her lithe fingers brushed the skin of his abdomen. He gasped and pulled away slightly, panting and resting his forehead against hers so that their noses were touching. "You know," she said, "you should really just go with it more often."

"I don't know what that means," he said, looking confused.

Chuckling, she told him, "It means that I liked that."

"Oh," he said simply. "Perhaps I should compile a dictionary containing the meanings of the different phrases you use."

"Zack," she told him firmly, "don't. Just… don't. That's far too weird."

"Can I ask you something, Alex?" he asked her, looking at her curiously.

"Sure, go ahead," she told him.

"Are you a virgin?" he asked.

"Whoa, I was _not_ expecting that to come out of your mouth," she chuckled. Looking at him, she said, "No, I'm not a virgin, Zack."

"Neither am I," he told her earnestly. "So we're on roughly equal footing."

"No, Zack," she told him, shaking her head. "We're not. I… just forget it." She extracted herself from his arms and scooted her chair away from him.

Frowning and knitting his eyebrows together, he scooted his chair closer to her and hesitantly placed a hand on her back. "Alex, what did I do to upset you?" he asked.

Abruptly, she stood and said, "Nothing, Zack. Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

With that, she left, leaving a very confused and worried Zack in her wake.

TLTBTLTB

At around one that morning, Zack woke to the sound of someone rapping on his door. He shuffled toward it sleepily and opened it, surprised to see Booth standing in front of him. "Agent Booth, what are you doing here?" he asked, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Well, Alex showed up at the Jeffersonian around nine and begged me to get her in here to visit you, even though visiting hours were over. I told the guards it was urgent, flashed my badge, and we're here," he replied, offering Zack a small smile. "You owe me, kid."

"I owe you what?" Zack asked, confused, but happy to see Alex's small figure in the hallway behind Booth.

"Never mind," he said. Lowering his voice, he added, "Look, she's a good kid, Zack. Hold on to her. And don't hurt her." Turning to face Alex, he clapped his hands and said, "He's all yours, Alex. I'll just be waiting out by the front."

"Thanks, Agent Booth," she said, offering him a nervous grin. She stepped quickly into Zack's room and said, "Zack, I'm sorry I left so suddenly earlier."

"No, it's alright," he told her softly, closing the door behind her and sitting down on his bed, inviting her to follow suit. She did so, maintaining about an inch of space between them all the while. "I'm sorry for whatever I said or did to upset you."

"I told you earlier, Zack, it wasn't anything you said or did," she told him, shaking her head. "It's just… me."

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I flipped out when you asked me whether or not I was a virgin," she explained.

"Flipped out?" he asked. "I don't know what that means."

"It means I… freaked out. I was agitated," she explained, and he nodded his head in understanding.

"Is there a particular reason behind your… flipping out?" he said, and the words sounded so strange coming from his mouth that she almost laughed.

Almost.

"Yeah," she said, nodding her head. "When I was seventeen… I was raped by this guy in my English class. It was… pretty traumatic, I have to admit. After that, I had a hard time trusting guys that I didn't trust previously. Kevin, Seth, and Andy had been my best friends for a couple years then, and I already trusted them, but… I couldn't really bring myself to trust any other males. Until I met you. I trusted you. Because you seemed innocent."

"I was the apprentice to a cannibalistic serial killer," Zack pointed out. "But that's not the point at the moment. Do I have permission to… touch you?"

Offering him a watery smile, she nodded and said, "Yes, Zack. I trust you. It's just… I didn't expect your question, and it brought up a lot of dormant feelings. I didn't know how to explain it to you, so I just left. I'm sorry. I didn't stop to think of how confused you would be. So I begged Booth to get me in after hours."

"It's okay," he told her, awkwardly patting her on the back. "I appreciate all the effort you put into getting yourself here to explain to me, even though I would have been just fine waiting until tomorrow."

"No," she told him, shaking her head. "Your psychiatric evaluation is tomorrow. I don't want you to worry about anything else."

Slowly, gently so as not to alarm her, he wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest. He stiffened at first, but then he relaxed into her and buried his nose in her hair. "Why does everything happen to you?" he asked. "Your father commits suicide, you are driven to self-mutilation and an attempt at suicide, _and_ you were raped. No one should have to bear that amount of pain."

"It's okay, Zack," she told him, her voice muffled because her face was still buried in his chest. "I have you."

"Does that really have an ameliorating effect on your plights?" he asked doubtfully, stroking her hair and sounding doubtful.

"Yes," she assured him, raising her head to meet his eyes. "I love you, Zack."

He almost said it back.

Almost.


End file.
